When Evany King started her new marketing job three months ago she was on top of the world.
She got to work in a cool open office space, had healthy organic rich bitch snacks available at
all times, and was gaining a new circle of work pals.
Evany was liked by her male colleagues and was often asked to join them for after work drinks and lunchtime karaoke sessions in the glass partitioned boardroom, where she dazzled everyone with her ironically dramatic version of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”
Until the social invitations began to taper off in her second month of employment—leaving her out of group activities by the time she completed her three-month probationary period.
Perplexed by this, she confided in one of her male counterparts. His response devastated her.
“You used to be really cool and fun and smiley, but then you grew really serious. Now you kind of look like a bitch.”
Shocked, Evany went straight to the bathroom to look at her face.
Her male colleague was right. Her resting work face made her look like a bitch.
Evany then visited her doctor to discover that she had what every woman had which was a condition known as “Resting Bitch Face,” or RBF.
“I remember when my doctor diagnosed me. My world started to spin and I thought I was going to pass out. I caught myself and made sure to smile though.” Through tears, she added, “I’ve heard of other women having this but I never thought it could happen to me. I’m young, healthy and most importantly happy. I couldn’t help but wonder, why me?”
And Evany is far from alone in this ordeal.
Dr. Leo Bradford is an RBF specialist in Toronto.
“Resting Bitch Face afflicts every woman on earth. Women don’t realize how unappealing they look when their faces are relaxed; either in a neutral position or when they’re concentrating. It’s easy to come off as bitchy or irritated—which is not the impression most women want to give off,” Bradford said.
So how does one treat RBF?
According to Bradford, it's important for women to be cognizant of how they look at any given moment.
The most obvious solution is corrective facial surgery similar to that of the Joker in the Batman movie franchise. That said, there are more natural cost-effective methods, such as simple exercises like widening one’s eyes. He also suggested adding a tiny pleasant smile on the corner of your lips.
Thinking positive thoughts and invoking happy memories is another way to naturally lift a person’s face.
Lastly, Bradford urges our readers to smile when a man tells them to smile.
“Trust me, they’re doing you a favour. Despite what those feminists are telling you.”
Evany took her doctor’s advice. She disclosed her condition to her colleagues, and uses natural methods to cope with her RBF; such as post-it notes on her computer screen reminding her to smile, mandatory laugh breaks every 5 minutes, and pleasurable underwear.
RBF isn’t something that will ever go away; with time, Evany’s Resting Bitch Face will become less prominent and less frequent. She hopes that by sharing her story, she will help other women open up about their own RBF.
“I don’t want any other woman in the world miss out on an opportunity because of RBF. We’ve fought too hard to have equal rights taken away because our faces are less pleasing to them."
Evany started a non-profit organization, the RBF Foundation, to raise awareness. The foundation also offers discreet testing and treatment for women who suffer from RBF.
It's not you, it's my resting bitch face t-shirts are also being sold through the organization with all profits going to RBF International.
She hopes the initiative will ease men’s feelings of emasculation.
“Because no one ever stops to consider men's needs. So smile. It's the least you can do."
Image by Courtney Carmody from Trenton, Ohio, Us (171/365 - Some secrets were meant to be kept.) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Moniquea Marion is a Toronto-based actor, comedian, and writer specializing in solo sketch and character comedy. She’s a graduate of the Second City Conservatory in Toronto, The Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre in NYC, and the People's Improv Theatre in NYC. Marion is a twice nominated contender for Best Female Improviser by NOW Magazine in 2014 & 2015. Marion's responsible for writing, producing, and starring in 8 one woman comedy shows over the past 3 years, one of which spawned, Mumsical, a successful one woman musical comedy about moms which debuted at the 2015 Toronto Fringe Festival. Marion recently underwent and successfully accomplished a rigorous web series where she released a new character video for every day of 2016! That's right she wrote, starred, produced, filmed, and edited 365 character videos in 365 days.
Marion's been an advocate for women in comedy by creating safe and supportive comedy spaces such as the all female comedy show, "Laugh Through This", the all female improv drop in, "Fierce", and the "Ladies Jam" a ladies only improv jam. Marion also teaches improv through the Social Capital Theatre in Toronto, various high schools, mental health agencies, and private companies.